


Sad Bitch.

by buckedz



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:42:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26112085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckedz/pseuds/buckedz
Summary: Day 3 of 911 POC Week 2020.The prompt: "I don't know how to exist without you." + hurtWell, blame the prompt.Enjoy. Or not.Read this at 3 a.m. onwards for real life experience.Suggested song to listen while reading (if that's your thing): Thinking of You by Katy Perry
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 42





	Sad Bitch.

It's been three months since they've talked to each other. Let it be a verbal communication or through text messages. Eddie doesn't know what he did wrong. Buck practically just vanished. Or, to word it perfectly, Buck chose to vanish from Eddie's life.

There are a lot of awful things resulted from this pandemic. Aside from the destruction of economic, political and humanity values, one of it is broken relationships.

Eddie met Buck on his first day on campus. He was super shy and reserved. Orientation week was hectic and he did not get to join the tour around the university because he was involved in a football tournament, representing his campus. That led him to be so lost, not knowing which lecture room to go in. To highlight the day, he didn't really make any friends during orientation week. His team was not taking his course so that really bumped him out.

But he saw a blond haired guy, wearing a plaid shirt, black jeans, and a pair of sneakers. He was typing away on his phone. Eddie did not know why but he approached the guy.

"Hey, excuse me. Are you taking Asian History?" He asked.

"Yeah, I am." Buck answered with a smile.

Eddie smiled sheepishly, "So, which group are you? I'm kinda lost here."

"I'm in group 3. And you?"

"Same, here. It's here, right?"

"Yeah, according to the WhatsApp group, it's here."

Eddie tilted his head, "There's a WhatsApp group?"

Buck laughed, "Yes. Give me your number. I'll ask someone to add you."

Eddie gave him the number.

Buck typed in, then paused, "Name?"

"Eddie Diaz."

"Alright. Done." 

Back in his dorm room, he texted Buck, saying his gratitude and asking for Buck's name. They were in the same course, same campus. There was no harm.

Then, that was it. For that day.

But, they got paired a few days later to do a presentation for that class. Thus, they met up regularly at the library to do some research. Stayed up late, texting which information to put in and which ones to get rid off. 

Their presentation went well.

And for their final essay, luck was on their side because both of them got the same question. They continued with researching together and sharing sources and they even exchanged essays before the date of submission for manual proofreading.

In the midst of getting the essays done, there were a lot of activities going on. There was a convocation carnival so there were foodtrucks everywhere. At the same time, Buck joined the football team selection with Eddie to represent their campus. Both Eddie and Buck joined another separate sports; ice hockey and handball respectively.

They went to the carnival together.

They watched the theatre performances together.

They played football with great teamwork.

They went to each others' matches as a show of support, taking pictures of each other while the other was playing.

They spent nights texting about their love lives and family and just everything and nothing at the same time.

They aced their final examination together.

It was going great between them.

They're basically the bestest of friends.

Everyone on the football team knew that.

They claimed that Eddie and Buck soulmates (because one day, both of them wore the same socks to training. Buck bought him the socks for his birthday) but Buck would say:

"Fuck off."

"Why not?"

"Fuck you, Jim!"

"Ever heard of the term best friends?"

While Eddie would just roll his eyes and laugh along with the rest of the team.

But then, a month into the pandemic, they started to grow apart from each other. Buck went back to LA, and Eddie went back to El Paso before lockdown.

It was Buck.

Buck seemed different day by day from the way he was texting.

It became drier by day.

So, Eddie asked. Once, twice, then a few more.

"Hey, you good?"

"Yeah, always."

"You sure? You can talk to me about anything. You know that."

"I know but I'm good." 

Eddie let it slide the first two times.

But then, he started to think. Then, overthinks.

"Did I do something wrong? If I did, you can tell me. I mean, we've been through that case scenario before."

"You did nothing, you douche."

But then, Eddie remembered something.

"How are you and Ali?"

Buck had sent him a screenshot of him and Ali talking. From the way they texted, Buck was enthusiastic. 

Thing was, Buck and Ali had broken up a month before but both agreed to stay friends because why be a child? Right?

Eddie knew about that.

But, hey, he only knew what he knew.

So, Eddie gave up. He didn't texted Buck at all. 

But he dreamed of Buck several times. Three to be exact. He remembered the first one vaguely. The only thing he can rewind was the look on Buck's face. He was sad.

Eddie checked up on him again. Same dry, cocky answer. "When am I not okay? Come on, this is Buck."

He was never like this.

He would act tough for a few times but eventually, he would find Eddie and told him about what ever was bothering him.

He settled for the fact that this pandemic had a toll on everyone. Fucked up sleeping schedule, fucked up mental health which resulted in withdrawal mode.

He assumed Buck was just exhausted with online classes and decided to get off the internet as soon as the classes finished.

The second dream, he couldn't remember it.

The third dream, he was so happy. He dreamed that they were out for a walk around the bazaar in the streets of Turkey. They walked shoulder to shoulder, with smiles on their faces, their fingers brushed a few times until Buck took his hand and intertwined them. Eddie remembered how he felt looking down at their hands in the dream. So light, so happy, and relieved that Buck was there besides him. He woke up, smiling, feeling so fucking happy. But then, he realized.

He had fallen for Buck.

He loved Buck.

And he didn't realize it until Buck had slipped off his fingers.

He continued sleeping until four in the afternoon.

He spent a few weeks looking where or when it went wrong.

He wanted to talk to Buck but they were so many red flags. So many signs Buck didn't want to talk to him. 

The first week was tough. The realisation hit him so bad that he felt so brokenhearted.

Because not only he lost his possible soulmate, he lost his best friend. 

Every now and then, he would remind himself he would find someone. Someone like Buck. 

And when the night got tough, he would whisper to Buck in his room, eyes glistening, chest tight, at four in the morning:

"I don't know how to exist in a world without you."

Because there was nobody like Buck. Buck was kind, caring, loving. He knew Buck loved him too. As a friend, at least. But he changed and he just disappeared. 

No reason at all.

He kept the pictures.

The memories too, but he pushed them down, locked deep inside his subconscious and heart, telling himself everyday that he deserves better.

Maybe in another life, Eddie and Buck wouldn't know how to exist without each other. 

But in this life, ~~they~~ Eddie will soon know how.

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, everybody. This is a true story. Eddie is me.
> 
> Thank you for reading.
> 
> Love you x
> 
> And please, always cherish your friends. Don't leave them. Let them know you care for them. In any circumstances. Because losing a friend hurts more than losing a lover. Trust me. If you need someone to talk to, find me on Tumblr. Same username. Remember you are loved okay?


End file.
